Vulnerability and Opening Your Heart to Love

Vulnerability and Opening Your Heart to Love | S2 E14 - Divine Style Podcast

Hosted by: Gerlinda Stella - Psychic Medium, Energy Healer & Self-Love Coach

Episode Overview

In this episode, we delve into the transformative power of vulnerability and how it helps us open our hearts to love. I explore the balance of risk versus reward when sharing personal experiences, and the importance of discerning who to trust with our vulnerabilities. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we uncover how vulnerability can foster deeper relationships, both with ourselves and others. We'll also discuss practical exercises to help you embrace vulnerability in a way that promotes healing, connection, and personal growth.

Episode Highlights

• Understanding Vulnerability: Learn the true meaning of vulnerability and its origins, as well as how to navigate it without invoking fear.
• The Key Factors: Discover the essential questions to consider before sharing: What, who, how much, and why.
• The Risks and Rewards: Explore the potential risks and rewards of being vulnerable, and how to weigh them carefully.
• Personal Stories: Hear about my own experiences with vulnerability, including both positive outcomes and painful lessons.
• The Power of Forgiveness: Understand how seeking and granting forgiveness can be a profound act of vulnerability.
• Practical Tips: Gain practical advice on choosing the right person to share with, setting your intent, and supporting others in their vulnerability.
• Vulnerability Exercise: Try a heart-opening exercise that I personally use to express gratitude and strengthen connections.

Join me as we uncover how embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections, greater self-love, and a more open heart.

Your host, Gerlinda, is a Psychic Medium and Intuitive Life Coach on a quest to uncover the essence of self-love, spirituality, and consciousness. She empowers women to awaken their divinity and deepen their intuition. Join her transformative journey towards self-discovery and spiritual enlightenment.

Stay connected with the Divine Style community and reach out to our host Gerlinda Stella:
www.gerlinda.com.au
www.facebook.com/GerlindaStella
www.instagram.com/gerlindastella

*We began this journey alongside Alison Maiden, Psychic Medium and Metaphysical Teacher, who has now moved on to exciting new ventures. We are grateful for Alison's invaluable insights and contributions to our episodes. www.alisonmaiden.com

Transcript

Today I'm talking about the power of vulnerability and how it helps us open our hearts to love. What I find incredible about the whole process of vulnerability is learning how to work with it in a way that doesn't invoke fear and in a way that can help you foster deeper relationships, not just with yourself but with others. 

I want to do a disclaimer about what it's not because it's not about sharing your deepest secrets or fears or baring your soul to the world. I think that sharing for sharing's sake ends up as oversharing. The term vulnerability comes from the Latin word for wound, and it means to be open to injury, whether that's emotional or physical. Vulnerability, at its core, is actually scary. And why would anyone want to open up when we're risking ridicule and judgement and potentially shame? It's a really interesting thing because there is a risk versus reward when it comes to sharing things that are personal.

I was listening to someone speak the other day about addiction, and he said that whilst he could explain addiction and talk about some of the darker aspects of his life, he didn't feel comfortable sharing with that particular group because they wouldn't quite understand. I think that's really powerful because you don't have to share everything. People often get truth-telling a little bit messed up in terms of vulnerability. You don't have to share every part of your secret. You can choose how much you're going to share in any situation. You might not want to get into all the gory details but might share enough to let people know you've had certain experiences. This can help others open up, and that's where I talk about the risk we're taking and the reward that is the benefit of sharing and being vulnerable in those situations.

This really highlights the key factors when it comes to sharing anything: what are you sharing, who are you sharing it with, how much do you want to share, and most importantly, why are you sharing what you're sharing? Brené Brown says the definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage.

I do want to talk about the risks associated with being vulnerable. We need to be very discerning and very aware of the risks associated because if you've ever had this experience, if you have shared something personal with someone and they either didn't take you seriously, ignored it, took that information and used it against you, or judged you for it, it makes sense that we tend to shut our hearts down. As soon as we shut our hearts down, we shut out love. On a bigger scale, when we shut out love, we're actually shutting out the world, spirit, the universe, and everything that goes along with that. We're not just shutting out the bad; we're shutting out the good as well.

Trust is a huge factor when it comes to sharing your vulnerabilities with someone. You definitely need that discernment. I have learned the hard way, time and time again, that different people have different responses and reactions when we share. I have had experiences where I’ve done some things that I’m not necessarily proud of, but I did share with a friend looking for some understanding and support, and she basically judged me and ended that friendship. It was super painful because while that was happening, I was going through something quite intense. I reached out to another friend, who, instead of cutting me off, struggled with some of what I was talking about but was there for me. She was a sounding board and really supported me, and our friendship grew. We're probably closer now than we've ever been. That is the power of being vulnerable, how it can bring you together. In that circumstance, it was worth the risk to have someone I can truly call a friend.

There are times when the risks don't outweigh the benefits. When I was younger, around 12, I was talking to a friend who was going to date this boy, but I'd heard he was trouble. I tried to convince her it was a bad idea and shared a secret someone had told me about him and their relationship. This backfired because it got back to my friend that I'd shared her secret. I went to school and was cornered by her and another girl, and they physically assaulted me to the point that I was battered and bruised, with a black eye. It was a really hard time because I fully trusted the person I shared it with and thought I was doing the right thing. The risk of being vulnerable and sharing something backfired. I shut down for a long time and ended up with anxiety, struggling to go to school. We changed schools a few times after that. 

What I learned from that experience is that even the people closest to you can't always be trusted. We need to be so discerning about who we can and can't share with. Sometimes it's going to backfire, but it doesn't mean we have to shut down forever and cut ourselves off from everyone. One incredible healing thing that did happen through that incident was years later, in my 20s, I had done some forgiveness work and was letting go of that incident. The girl who initiated the assault reached out, apologised, and said how it had changed her life too. She was expelled and had to change schools. She was sorry and wished she hadn't done that. It serves as one of those full-circle healing things. She was vulnerable in asking for forgiveness. If you have wronged or hurt someone, asking for forgiveness is a huge step in vulnerability because you are opening yourself up to rejection. Also, forgiving others impacts our well-being and self-love because we must forgive ourselves for those things.

The things we share with others don't have to be traumatic events. It could be a great idea, and you talk to someone who is analytical, who might list all the reasons why it won't work. But you might have wanted support and encouragement. It might be better to talk to someone more creative and expressive. Choosing the right person is vital when being vulnerable, along with weighing the risk. Even if you trust this person, can you handle it if it doesn't go well? Weighing the risk in terms of what you're sharing, who you're sharing it with, and how much you're sharing is important. Most important is why you are sharing what you're sharing. Are you sharing because you want support, to get something off your chest, or need advice? Knowing these things helps assess the risk fully.

There are some great things you can do to open your heart more to vulnerability and to receive and let love in. If you want to be more vulnerable and open your heart more, be ready to be on the receiving end for people coming to you. Put your judgement aside and listen. In a relationship, you might ask, "How can I best help you? What would you like from me today?" They might say they just want you to listen or need help with solutions. Setting up conversations so you both know what you're looking for can be helpful.

If you have deep-seated trauma or heavy issues, talking to a professional like a counsellor or psychologist could help. Sometimes just sharing and getting it off your chest lightens your load, and you feel better without having to do anything with the information.

The vulnerability exercise I want to share is one I do once or twice a year. I think of three to five people who have positively impacted my life recently or over the years. I write them a small note via text, messenger, or email, expressing my appreciation and gratitude. This act of vulnerability makes me nervous, but the responses are beautiful. People have written back simple thank-yous or heartfelt messages that make my heart feel warm. Spreading gratitude and love opens us up more.

When opening up to others, start small with trusted people and set your intent. Vulnerability isn't about sharing for sharing's sake. It gives us the opportunity to tell our story authentically, fostering connections to the world, people, and ultimately, ourselves. Through openness and honesty, we become open to love and receiving.

Wishing you a magnificent day where the love you wish to receive comes your way as we end today's episode.